Green and Act get on the Kombucha

Don Franks

An already fired up general election looks like getting even edgier. When final votes have been counted, a rather unlikely coalition government now seems possible

As National and Labour implode with sexual proclivities while New Zealand First fling their last toys from the cot, others show more maturity. Few would have predicted the Act /Green alliance but politics is full of surprises.

Apparently, the “Think ahead, Act now” deal was born of despair upon the ascension of Judith Colins to National party leadership. Act feared the loss of potential right wing voters, Green politicians simply feared. From there, secret late night discussions, at first tentative, lead to the forging of what may prove an exciting political strategy. According to a well placed Green Party source :

“With the economy taking such a hit from the lockdown, heaps of voters will just be looking for jobs now and bugger the consequences,” our source told us. “ Act’s one-sided view of rebuilding has a narrow window of opportunity here to get quick votes. So, Act Now makes political sense.”

What about Act antipathy to so many nice Green Party policies?

“ That’s the thinking ahead component. A number of recent Act recruits are in fact Green Party moles wearing borrowed suits and dressy shoes. When our victorious coalition’s on the treasury benches, you’ll be seeing some new Act MPs suddenly up trees and lying prone in the way of shovel ready projects”.

Act party representatives recollected differently.

“ Ha ha, they signed that after we slipped some bad acid in their kombucha. Now our name’s their campaign slogan.”

Who’s right? And will the new Green /Act get it across the goal line? All remaining to be seen, but it’s a snappy slogan for the times, possibly improved by cutting the last three words.

2 comments

  1. Well, Green just lost my vote. We all promised each other, “anybody but Act”. The good news is that I’m definitely going for Labour, so all the thinking’s been done for me. Neither Labour nor National are on the side of the working-class, but Act is the most hostile of the parties. At least Labour isn’t actively hostile, for the most part – just ineffective.

    • I wish to specify this comment was completely sarcastic. Only realised it sounded serious after I’d already hit post.

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