by Don Franks
Once upon a time there was a little lad called Dotty. Dotty was a pretty ordinary wee fellow, mostly happy just playing with his Playstation, except he had a dream.
Dotty’s dream was to become famous without being any good at anything.
By looking around on the Internet, Dotty saw two ways to be able to do this. You could become a mass murderer or else a member of parliament .
Being a mass murderer seemed to involve a certain amount of effort and risk, so Dotty decided to go for the parliament option.
The easiest way seemed to be joining a big established party and being selected as a candidate for a safe seat, or a high spot on the list.
Dotty thought all the big established parties looked a bit boring, and he also was aware that he wasn’t very familiar with their special language which talked about things like GDP, TSP and GST .
So Dotty went off down the road looking for a more suitable party for him to get a high position in. Not far down the road he saw a man running.
“What are you doing?” asked Dotty, politiely. “I’m running for parliament ” said the man, pausing “What’s it to ya?”
“Have you got a party?” asked Dotty.
“With many seats?”
“Just me at the moment.”
“Listen”, said Dotty, “I’d love to be in your party, can I be. please?”
“Maybe kid. Do you have any experience?”
“None at all sorry”
“Well perhaps that won’t matter. What can you do?”
“I like playing games on the internet. Sometimes I get quite high scores. Oh, and I don’t like being spied on.”
The man looked a bit impatient. “Kid, never mind that stuff. Let’s cut to the chase here – you got any money?”
“Sorry son. Now bugger off.”