Political games

Posted: February 14, 2014 by Admin in Alienation, Cultural studies, John Key, National Party NZ, New Zealand politics, NZ Sport, Sport


by Don Franks

Today was supposed to be a really nice day.

It was sunny and I had no students booked in to come round home for guitar lessons. And it was the first day of the cricket test. So I cut some lunch and shook a couple of nectarines off the tree and said goodbye to Jill and Foxy the cat and set off to the Basin Reserve for the first day of the contest.

Well, we lost the toss and as you know all the rest is history, but some seminal bits of history don’t make it into the books do they.

When I arrived at the Basin it was 10.30, just when they have the toss. Me and a whole bunch of other slightly eccentric looking elderly men and a few women had to wait patiently behind a rope while the toss was made.  During which the loudspeaker told us the PM  was out there in the middle with them.


Toss over and lost, all the wee clump of dignitaries came back past our rope to go back in the important people’s door. The team captains, media commentators, news readers and John Key. They all filed past us looking forwards and as that happened one of our number behind my back clapped a couple of claps. Which no-one else took up. Out of all the important peeps passing us by Key responded to the lone clap, turning around to nod acknowledgement before he scuttled up the shute.

The clap may or may not have been for him, but he was the only one to claim it and, in the circumstances, the least deserving of it.

If you’ve never seen the little bastard up real close I can report that it’s much worse than he appears on the TV. It’s like that feeling you get when you suddenly realise you’ve tracked dogshit onto the carpet on your shoe.

Anyway in the split second available after the clap I tried to think of a forthright communist response. Being in a marshmallow mindset adjusted to a ruminative day’s cricket watching, the best I could think of was saying “Booo”, which I discarded as not ideologically tough enough.

Jill said, when I got home, well, at least that would have been some sort of recognisable counter to the other guy’s clapping. Probably, but the crucial moment passed and I didn’t connect. A pattern which the Black Caps were to continue throughout the day.

Sometimes I wonder which is more dependably depressing, NZ cricket or NZ politics.

  1. Don Franks says:

    Well it is just gone lunchtime in NZ’s second innings with the captain and the keeper still there after a magnificent unbroken record busting partnership.

    Guess that answers my question.